My husband was happy to see me when I got home and said, «Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight.» Then he brought me to my place at the dining table while putting on a blindfold. I sat down, and as he was going to take off my blindfold, the phone rang. He made me swear that I would not touch the blindfold until he came back to take the call.
My husband was out of the room when I decided to take advantage of the pressure from the beans I had eaten, which was starting to get to me. I moved my weight to one leg and let go.
It smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a rubbish dump, in addition to being quite noisy! Removing my napkin from my lap, I frantically fannied the air around me. I then tore off three more from the other leg. It smelled as bad as boiled cabbage. I continued detonating atomic bombs in this manner for a few more minutes while paying close attention to the discussion taking place in the room next door. The joy was beyond words! I had a great sense of relief and satisfaction with myself as I swiftly fannied the air with my napkin a few more times, laid it on my lap, and folded my hands back on it when the phone goodbyes eventually announced the end of my freedom.
When my husband came back, I think my expression was the epitome of innocence as he apologized for taking so long. I told him I hadn’t peered through the blindfold when he asked whether I had.
He took off the blindfold at this point, and the twelve guests were sitting around the table, their hands pressed to their noses.
