I (25F) and my (27M) boyfriend. For context, me and my boyfriend have been together for in total 8 years. We met between mutual friends while I was still in school and he had just moved to my town to go to college.
We were friends for 2 years before we started dating. The reason for this was because 1,I was too scared to make a move and secondly, he was in love with one of our mutual friends. After she got a boyfriend, he moved on to liking me and we have been dating ever since.
Last Saturday was his birthday and he told me he has never been thrown a surprise birthday party and would like to experience one. I worked all week before Saturday (his birthday), planning and inviting people, getting reservations, buying a cake, etc. I asked his best friend to hang out with him for most of the day so that I could set up and get everyone to get here and hide for the surprise.
The birthday party was a success and he was smiling the whole time. He had snuck off with his best friend somewhere and I wanted to find him so that we could sing happy birthday and cut the cake. As I was walking down the hallway I heard him and his friend talking so I kept walking towards their voices. I heard him tell his friend that he should have kept trying with our mutual friend. He told him that he should have been the man that was engaged to her and not her now fiancé. He said that he hated waking up to me and that he wished that our mutual friend was the one that threw him his first surprise party. He said that he felt disgusted every time he had to kiss me or hold me because he knew that our mutual friend should be in his arms instead.He said that he felt like he was stuck in our relationship and that he would end up “having” to marry me. He said that our mutual friend was better than me in looks from head to toe, he said that “she was the most gorgeous girl i’ve ever seen”.
I went back to the party and told everyone that I couldn’t find him and that we would have to wait for him to come back. When he came back, he gave me a hug and a kiss on the head and told me he loved me. I didn’t want to ruin his party so I went along with it. He doesn’t know that I know he doesn’t honestly love me, I’ve just been going along with everything.
I honestly don’t want to break up with him, I just want to know how I can make him fall in love with me. I don’t know what I did to make him feel so unhappy so I would like to know how do I make my boyfriend fall in love with me or should I just give up on our relationship? He is the first boyfriend I’ve ever had and I’m scared to start dating again at my age.
Source: r/relationship_advice (Reddit)
