This all happened when she accidentally found out from her husband some nasty details about the times when he was a child. And now the woman is sure that her in-laws are pure evil for her kids and her family.
Woman liked her in-laws from the start and it was mutual.
A woman named Jodie, 37, has recently sent a letter to our editorial, and she began it with a very emotional statement.
Jodie wrote, «Hi, Alternatech, I’m writing to you because I know that you have a big audience from all over the world, and I would like to hear other people’s opinions about my tough and controversial situation, and also about my categorical decision which is now very much criticized by many of my family members.»
The woman began her story, saying that she has made a decision to cut all ties with her parents-in-law, and she even forbade them to approach her kids. And then, Jodie told us the details of her relationship with in-laws and explained what led her to such a crucial and somewhat merciless decision.
Jodie wrote, «We were once very close with my in-laws. They seemed very nice, cordial and very hospitable people from the start. My husband Jake and I have been married for over a decade now, and we have 3 wonderful kids together. During all this time, my parents-in-law have been extremely nice to all of our kids, and the children enjoyed their really nice relationships with their grandparents. As far as we know, they have only warm, happy memories with grandma and grandpa.
Jodie’s husband had a bizarre relationship with his parents.
© Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash
Jodie goes on with her story, saying, «I was happy that our kids have loving and caring grandparents. I lost my own parents due to a bad accident many years ago, and for me, it was important that the kids should have at least one set of grandparents, who would spoil them and love them unconventionally. My in-laws coped with this task pretty well, and I was satisfied with how their relationship with their grandkids was developing over time.»
However, Jodie’s husband seemed to be skeptic about this idyllic family picture. Jodie shared, «Jake didn’t object when in-laws came to visit the kids, but it had always been obvious that he was uncomfortable about that. He seemed to have a very distant and reserved relationship with his parents, and he had never initiated any meeting with them.
I never asked him about the reasons for such behavior, because I thought that if there was something to tell me about, he would do it out of his own initiative when he feels ready for sharing this. Otherwise, I tended to think that it was their family matter and I preferred to have my own opinion on my in-laws.»
One day, Jake dropped a bombshell, telling Jodie about his childhood.
© Austin Pacheco / Unsplash
Jodie revealed, «Jake has been struggling with depression and anxiety for as long as I remember him. I know that he’s a sensitive guy, and his peculiarity has always been that he takes everything too close to his heart, sometimes overreacting to many unimportant things. That’s the way he is and has always been, and I only tried to help him with his therapy and fighting his anxiety.»
Jodie goes on with her story, saying, «One day, Jake came home from work in a really bad mental state. I’ve never seen him crying before, and I’ve never seen him so frustrated and desperate. I asked him about what happened, and he said he had a nervous breakdown because of some serious problems at work. But I had that gut feeling that there was something more serious than problems at work, so I insisted that we should sit and talk.»
Jodie revealed the reason for Jake’s long-term depression and anxiety. The woman explained, «I was expecting that Jake would tell me something about his present problems, but he suddenly started talking about his childhood. I was so shocked to reveal that my dear, my loving and caring parents-in-law were actually the main reason why Jake has been struggling so much during all his adulthood.
Jodie’s husband had a real childhood trauma.
Jake revealed that his parents tried to «parentify» him when he was a child and, then, a teenager. That means they would act like he was the grown-up person in the family, not them, and they often made him listen to their adult problems, they expected him to provide emotional support for them. He was expected to be a source of comfort and reassurance, not them.
Jodie wrote, «Jake told me how his dad was complaining to him, a 10-year-old boy at the time, that he lost his job because of his colleague’s intrigues, and he would share everything in details, and Jake had to sit and listen. They also made Jake take part in managing household finances, he was even responsible for caring for his younger siblings. This all was especially challenging for Jake, as he obviously did not have that emotional maturity or life experience to manage his own emotions, let alone those of his adult parents.»
Jodie added, «I find it appalling and deeply inappropriate, that my in-laws have been so toxic over the years and that they pretended to be kind to our kids. I called them right after I found out all the details of Jake’s childhood, but they said he was lying to me. Then, I just told them they shouldn’t approach our kids and that they’re unwanted guests in our house. My MIL was crying and asking me not to jump into decisions, but I didn’t want to listen.
I saw with my own eyes what they did to Jake with their „parentifying“ and I would never wish my kids to have to face the same dirty methods from my in-laws. I’m extremely judged and criticized by the rest of our family members, but I don’t care, as soon as I’m guarded by my maternal wish to provide my kids with a healthy environment to live in. I don’t want them to have this impact from their toxic grandparents, so am I wrong to be cutting them off from our family completely?»
And here’s yet another dilemma of a woman, who had no other choice rather than to kick her own pregnant daughter out of the house, together with her 6 kids, and this happened for a devastating reason. Read more to find out why the woman had to act like this and why she doesn’t even regret it now.
