A woman wrote us a letter to complain about her husband’s weird behavior.
A woman named Joanna, 34, has recently sent a letter to our editorial, where she told us about her family conflict that has arisen out of a seemingly innocent, and even humorous, thing.
She began her letter, saying that she and her husband, Ian, have been happily married for over a decade now. Their family has always been a model to follow for many people around, because peace, mutual understanding and mutual support were some features that dominated in their union.
Joanna said that no one would have expected that the things could turn so bad in their marriage, that they are rapidly approaching a divorce now.
Joanna explained that it all started with a habit that her husband adopted about a year ago. The woman wrote, «We can all go through phases and pick up irritating habits, and oftentimes we just need our spouses to gently inform us if we’ve adopted an extremely egregious habit.»
The woman continues, saying, «Last year, my husband has picked up a habit where he started talking like a baby. At first, it was hilarious for me, but it quickly passed into cringeworthy behavior.»
Joanna’s husband started talking in the most embarrassing way.
Joanna explained, «He started using such words as doggo, birb, meow meow, sammiches, chicky nuggies, and he even added a toddler-like ’lisp’ to the words he pronounced. The ones that really got gross for me were childish euphemisms for love, intimacy and body parts.»
The woman revealed that their relationship was affected by this habit. She wrote, «We hadn’t had any affectionate relationship for over six months because he couldn’t stop paying me compliments, but naming my body in the most ridiculous, childish way. It just made me more and more resentful and disgusted.»
Ian behaved like this not only at home, with his wife, but also in public, which was unbearable for Joanna. She revealed, «Once, we were out at a restaurant with some mutual friends. Ian actually ordered a ’chicky sammy’, which was supposed to stand for ’chicken sandwich’. He said that exact phrase. All our friends noticed that cringy baby talk, because Ian wanted to continue the ’joke’ and started talking with the full imitation of a toddler accent.»
The family conflict was inevitable as things were getting even worse.
Joanna goes on with her letter, saying that after that incident she couldn’t stomach the very idea of going out with Ian to any public place. She’d go out to a bar with friends, but she was embarrassed by the only thought of Ian joining her and saying «Me wanty ’nother sammich!» .
The woman revealed, «I couldn’t figure out where it came from. I had no idea why he was doing this. I hit my limit when we were shopping together and everything seemed just fine until Ian gasped like a kid, rushed to the ice cream section and jumped up and down yelling ’Ice cweam! I want chocwit!’»
Joanna revealed that she was mortified. All other visitors were staring at them. But it didn’t make Ian stop doing that silly thing. At one point, Joanna just said that he should talk to her like an adult, or she’d be leaving.
The woman wrote, «Since then, things have been extremely bad between us. I tried to explain to him that a 40-year-old man with a mortgage and retirement account cannot ask for ’Chocwit ice cweam’, but he just wouldn’t listen.»
Even Ian’s mom was involved at some point. She kept telling Joanna that Ian was probably bored, and she also tried to reassure her DIL that she actually should be happy that Ian is surviving through his midlife crisis in such a way, rather than him having a romance with young ladies somewhere at local clubs.
Joanna was desperate, and then she found out the truth about this strange habit.
Joanna wrote that one day, she approached her husband and started talking to him very seriously. The woman said that she suspected that this was a tumor, a childhood drama, or a mental health issue, that cause such behavior of her spouse. She said, «I talked to him and suggested we go to a doctor because of how worried I was. And only after I said this, Ian told me the truth.»
The woman continues, saying, «It turned out that it was a bet with one of his friends. The whole thing started as them trying to embarrass each other in public. A friend bet Ian that he couldn’t keep it up for the whole year. The only exception was when Ian was at work, because of course he couldn’t put his career at risk.»
The appalled woman wrote, «He couldn’t put his career at risk, but he decided to jeopardize his marriage instead. At what cost? The prize was a signed baseball. I was speechless.» Joanna said that Ian wasn’t joking, like she thought before. In fact, he was dead serious. What made it even worse, was that he kept all videos where Joanna reacted to his baby talk, and where other people were staring at them when he did this.
The woman said, «In the end, Ian wasn’t remorseful. He thought I would also laugh at this ’small innocent joke’, and he even thought I’d find it hysterical. But it wasn’t funny for me, and he was sincerely surprised! He wasn’t apologetic for ruining our private moments with this silly speech, he wasn’t sorry for embarrassing me in public, and, what is even worse, he intended to continue doing this to win the bet. I was terrified.»
The desperate woman closed her letter, saying, «After a lot of scandals and tears, I left Ian. I’m heading up to another city to stay with my family through my healing process. And I’m definitely filing for divorce. I hope it was worth it.»
Our advice to Joanna will be: take time to think it over.
We’re extremely grateful to Joanna for her trust in us and for her sincere story.
We probably all know that one of the reasons why many couples stay together for many years, is that they have common things to laugh at. Sense of humor may save marriages, make them more colorful and add up some joy to a dull family routine.
But we sincerely believe that Joanna had a right to feel offended, because her husband really went too far. Ian could have informed his wife about the bet and make her his «partner», not a «victim» in it.
Now, Joanna is obviously feeling betrayed, and even mocked at. But we’d advise her not to rush to a divorce lawyer, but rather let herself heal and then talk to Ian again. And maybe, this time, the spouses will reach some agreement about their future family life and the role of pranks and bets in it.
And here’s a woman, whose husband doesn’t behave in an embarrassing way, and he doesn’t joke. Instead, he keeps tampons in his car, which don’t even belong to his wife, and when the woman found out the truth about his motives for doing so, she wanted to run away.
