Love and Relationships

Why I Refuse to Be My Mother-in-Law’s Personal ATM

Am I Wrong for Refusing to Pay Bills at My Mother-in-Law's Home After Moving in Due to Job Loss?

I (34F) recently lost my job due to complications from a chronic illness. My husband (36M) and I were struggling financially, and my mother-in-law (MIL, 62F) offered to let us stay with her until we got back on our feet. We gratefully accepted and moved into her spacious home about two months ago.

At first, everything seemed fine. MIL was welcoming, and we tried to help around the house as much as possible. However, last week, she presented us with a list of “household contributions” she expected us to make, including paying for a portion of the utilities, groceries, and even property taxes.

I was shocked. We’re already in a difficult financial situation, and my medical bills are piling up. My husband works part-time, but his income barely covers our existing debts and my treatments. I explained this to MIL, but she insisted that we need to “pull our weight” and that she’s not running a “charity home.”

I refused to pay, telling her that we simply can’t afford it right now and that I thought her offer to help us meant she understood our situation. This led to a heated argument where she called me ungrateful and said I was taking advantage of her generosity.

My husband is torn. He understands our financial constraints but also feels we should try to contribute something to avoid straining his relationship with his mother.

I feel terrible about the situation, but I also believe that if MIL truly wanted to help us, she wouldn’t be adding to our financial stress during this difficult time. We’re actively job hunting and trying to improve our situation, but it’s not happening overnight.

Am I wrong for refusing to pay bills at my MIL’s home under these circumstances? Should we be finding a way to contribute financially despite our hardships, or is MIL being unreasonable given the situation?

Source: Brightside

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